Did you watch for opportunities last week - to be a friend to someone,
- carry her burden,
- encourage her, or
- spur her on to love and do good deeds?
#3 Key: HOLDING ONE ANOTHER ACCOUNTABLE
Before we get into this one, can we pray? This chapter isn't the most glamorous of topics and we often times shrink of doing it & receiving it.
"Father I come to you in the precious name of Jesus, I thank you for this opportunity to read your word and grow in a new area this week and that my new friends will grow too.
I ask you to help us hear the words of your holy Scripture today. I ask that the blinders and scales be removed and we truly hear the message of truth tempered with love. Please prepare our hearts and open our minds to receive our portion today.
In Jesus' Holy name we ask theses things...
AMEN!!"
SCRIPTURES:
MATTHEW 7: 1-5 & 15-20
MATTHEW 16:13-26
In the Matthew chapter 7 section of verses we are reading about a different type of judging, not a CONDEMNATION type, rather a type of judging that is discerning . This discernment arrives at conclusions based on facts and perceptions.
Interestingly, this week's study lined up with a message I heard on Sunday about telling the truth in love. Basically you need both, you can't tell the truth without love and you can't love without truth. Either we are people pleasers or God pleasers, you often times can't do both.
YIKES!! I have been there and DONE that! I even remember once telling my husband's friend "off", he needed to hear (according to me anyway!)what I was telling him and like it or not he was getting it. Period.
I will never forget his reply, "Are you telling me this because you want me to hear it, or are you telling me this, because love me." At that point in my life, it was truth without love, I didn't really care how he took it, because he was taking it.
I was never one to allow people to hold me accountable nor did I really hold anyone accountable, I just told people the "truth" according to me anyway and that was that. It was judging and Jesus clearly dealt with that in Matt 7:1-5, I had a plank so blatant yet I was not open to discuss it.
Likewise in Matt 16:13-26 Jesus talks more about wise discerning:
- recognizing people's character by their behavior,
- this demands that you have good and valuable judgement that differs from the "Judgmental attitude" that Jesus talks against in these verses.
Never in my life have I had such an arrival of "new" friendships. I have struggled for years with so many issues it prohibited me from opening up to others and allowing them to see who I really am. I never let anyone close enough to hold me accountable and if you did it was a rarity like the lunar eclipse.
One
of my new friendships is with a really laid back and wonderful woman named Ruth. She is a great friend to have in my life as hyper as I am she brings an element of "chill" in. Plus she is very discerning and often times will get to the heart of the matter without pulling any punches. Yet she tempers it with love in such a way you don't even realize she did it until it is over.
Recently she did just when even though I hadn't spoken much about an area in my life that was in dire straights. Just a few words tempered with love and I heard her, and I have to report this area has been changed drastically. Funny how that works- huh?
Matthew 15:13-26
When we read this, you see Peter proclaiming Jesus is God in one breath and being used as a tool of Satan the next. How much is impetuous Peter like us? I readily identify with him on many levels, and each time I read this portion of scriptures I feel the elation he must have felt long with the sting of shame in the next few verses.
Do you think Jesus declaring, "Get behind me Satan" was a judgmental thing to say in that situation?
Honestly, I have often thought JESUS was a little a harsh, but one pastor pointed out several things to me that were happening during that time. One was Jesus was about to die the most painful death anyone ever had at the point and ever will period, if Jesus didn't absorb our sins on the cross, we wouldn't have grace.
That was Satan's plan. And let us remember he IS THE BIGGEST FAILURE ever. He tries to make us all feel the condemnation he must feel everyday since he tried to take over heaven and had an "EPIC FAIL".
Now, if a friend told you after a conversation or a situation, "You do not have the mind of God toward______ but the mind of men." What do you think you would do?
Telling the truth as I did with my husband's friend wasn't me really telling the truth, it was me saying,
- "I want to control the situation. "
- "I know better than you!"
How do you think Peter's heart was feeling when he challenged Jesus?
What about Jesus, what do you think HE was feeling when he said, "Get behind me Satan?"
"What characteristics & tools do we need when confronting our friends on tough issues? Read thru this list and check the tools you have used when confronting a friend about a situation in her life that troubled your [spirit]":
- COMPASSION
- HONESTY
- UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
- APPROPRIATE BIBLICAL COUNSEL
- AVAILABILITY (ON YOUR PART) TO WALK WITH HER THRU TOUGH DECISIONS
- PRAYER
- FOLLOW-THROUGH (ASKING HER QUESTIONS AFTER A WISE DECISION THAT WILL HELP HER CONTINUE IN A POSITIVE PATH)
Which is hardest for you, to confront in love (and risk hurting your friend's feelings or making her mad) or to be held accountable? (& risk what your friend might do if she knew the truth about you?)
The real factor here is being so tuned in to the Holy Spirit that we approach our friends who may be making wrong choices with LOVE- to be God pleasers who LOVE people.
With all this talk of risks, what do you believe makes it worthwhile to hold each other accountable?
This week the Challenge is to take this week's lesson and talk with God in silent reflection and ask the following questions:
- Is there any issues in my life right now where I need the accountability of a close friend?
- Am I willing to talk to God about it?
- Will I take the step of asking a friend to be my accountability partner?
- Ask God for courage to invite that person to keep you accountable
- Or is there a friend who comes to mind who either needs encouragement or held accountable?
- Ask God to give you courage & commitment to say what you need to say and remove any planks in your own eye before you approach your friend respectfully clearly, and cleanly.
Copied from SIX KEYS TO LASTING FRIENDSHIP by Carol Kent and Karen Lee-Thorp, copyright 2000 The Navigators – www.navpress.com. All rights reserved
This week was soooo good, I wish I could copy the whole list of questions found in this chapter!! It is so chock full of things and I only have permission to post 10% of it...It would still be worth-
while to purchase a copy!
Don't forget the PRINCESS BALL on MAY 4TH~!
It is going to be SOOOOO FUN!!
I HOPE YOU WILL COME!!
LET'S DANCE AND CELEBRATE THE WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIPS WE HAVE MADE AND
HOW GOOD IT IS TO BE A PRINCESS OF THE KING!!
Be blessed this week my friends!
NEXT WEEK'S KEY:
#4: RISKING HURT, BUILDING TRUST
Copied from SIX KEYS TO LASTING FRIENDSHIP by Carol Kent and Karen Lee-Thorp, copyright 2000 The Navigators – www.navpress.com. All rights reserved
Gr8 read!
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